Monday, May 26th 2025: CFXX Day 1 Diary

I'm writing this on Monday, around midnight. I got back from the con mere hours ago and I can't sleep. So I'm writing about how the last two days (and by extention the past month) has been for me!

Comifuro (Comic Frontier) is a biannual (twice a year) comic convention that's more of a general weeaboo/fandom space nowadays. I went to CF8 and CF9 back in high school and now they're on their 20th event! Time flies so quickly. That's the context you need to know; now let's psychoanalyze.

You see doc, I've been really stressing about the con around 2-3 days before Saturday. I kept having intrusive thoughts of forgetting items, accidentally knocking over a display, being stolen from, and other Bad things happening to me at the con. I was scared I might have a panic attack (due to the crowds) and have to go to the medic room. I was scared of making poor quality items and dissapointing people who buy my stuff. What if they demand a refund? Or go full Karen on me? That sort of thing.

I did my best to prep ahead of time, though some things came up late and I needed to buy some things the day before- I still managed to set a work pace that didn't require me crunching. I prepped jewelry and a poetry zine. Simple enough, right? I didn't set up any pre-orders or anything of that sort, because I wanted to focus on the OTS (on-the-spot) experience for myself before getting involved with POs, since this was my first time boothing after all. I've boiled down the con vendor experience to its most basic form so I have little to worry about. I also did away with using any grids (for my personal corner of the table) and focus on a rotating stand.

Oh, I haven't touched on how the tables are divided. Each table has an A and B section, you can rent just one side, or rent the entire table. My circle of artists was comprised of 5 people (including me) and we divided the table (and vertical space) in such a way that it ensures equal visibility for all our table members. Fun, right? Since all I needed was to plop down a rotating stand, I was good on that front

Back to the anxiety- I was doing fine until 2 days before the con -that's when the nerves started to kick in. I kept having those aforementioned intrusive thoughts and I wasn't getting enough sleep. The day before the con my chest felt stuffy, burning, and stiff all at once -a sign my acid reflux is creeping up. I decided to take a xanax before the big day and hit the hay early.

4 AM. That's how early I had to wake up. We needed to leave at 6, so we could get there by 7. Yes, the con is a bit away from my place. I woke up at 4 am, showered, and got ready with all my stuff. I have trouble eating breakfast too early, so I packed my medicine with me to take after I had breakfast at the convention center.

My friend and I got there first, before our other boothmates. We queued to redeem our vendor passes. We waltz in, I need only 5 minutes to set up my kit, and I'm all set for the day. The air felt... cold and distant. Sterile and uncaring. Walking into a large air-conditioned space with barely any people is surreal, to say the least.

I eat my packed bread and take my medicine. My other boothmates arrive and take a longer time to set up shop than me. I help out whenever I can while trying not to be a nuisance. Time flies by and it's opening time already. 9:30 and the gates open.

People slowly trickle in before the eventual flood was released upon us. A wave of people rushing to their desired booth(s) in hopes of getting first dibs on the merch they're eyeing. The cold sterile air turned damp and warm, like breath on a glass surface. I feel... Not much.

As the day went by I realized I wasn't all that good at staying still and sitting behind a table, covered by grid spacers that were opaque and blocked 70% of my view. I wandered around by myself, since my other boothmates were plenty busy with their pre orders and I wasn't getting any customers looking to buy or browse from my side of the booth. I still had signal early in the morning, but that was going to change soon enough.

10 am. Phone barely has any signal. It takes 10 minutes to send any message. I'm bored and roaming around. I say hi to the friend I know tabling at the same event. I wander aimlessly in the flow of people. I'm not not anxious... It's something else.

Noon hits. I buy an overpriced rice bowl at the food stall. I still have no signal. The crowd keeps growing, piling up the vendor halls like clogged arteries. Stopping mid-aisle, sudden U-turns, unexpected direction changes, all of that made for a chaotic environment.

2 PM. I'm at the medic room. I felt overwhemled in the crowd of people. I needed a quiet space. I felt a migraine creeping up and a heat source radiating from my neck -usually the onset of a panic attack. I sat there for 5 minutes until my friend summoned me to go back to our table.

Barely any sales today. But I felt tired. By 4 PM I decided to follow my friend's lead and head back early. I felt nauseated and fatigued. I felt bored, unstimulated, and underwhelmed by my first day. I was led astray by one of the staff when I asked for the directions to the free shuttle bus- but I managed to find my way to the correct bus stop and got home safely. I ate dinner, and by 9 PM was passed out on my bed.