Sunday, April 6th 2025: Blog Ramblings, Again

One of my friends roped me into participating in CS50's puzzle day (through helping them solve a crossword) and in that process I've learned... people make changes to their blog by... inspect element? I guess I was too ballsy to send live blog updates not knowing how they'll look like, ehe.

I've been thinking to re-doing my entire blog for a couple of days now, mostly so I could have a more tidy code that's easier to edit and read through. I also realized my date logs are written in a way that's easy to be read by a human but when sorted by a computer it becomes messy (>_<) maybe once I decide I want to re-do this whole thing I might re-do the naming system to be yyyy-mm-dd (I don't like this formatting because strings of numbers just make my brain smooth! argh!

What else have I been doing? I've been doing some con prep and making more jewelry. I've been hoarding more brochures to make more ransom letter buttons! I really want to update my "about" page to be a notebook layout with sections for current favorite music, current reads, and buttons to other sites that I enjoy.

Sometimes I really do have to let go of my perfectionist tendencies because what's stopping me from implementing all of what I just said is the fear of making my site look "worse" than it started. Which is a silly thing to be anxious about! It's my site and I'm learning by doing! Sighs. I like how my site looks now and the thought of having to re-do everything is daunting! But then again, I don't have to re-do everything. I could just re-do the things I like best about this site. My all-or-nothing mindset gets the best of me these days

Maybe I should try making a new thing on a different platform and still have neocities as a fallback. I know I could always download and backup my site but... It feels different knowing there's a live version of something I'm proud of. I don't know what I'm talking about. Diving into the unknown is scary to me. What if my site looks bad in the process? What if I regret the change? What if I feel like I wasted my time trying to update the site? Silly thoughts like those. I want to break free from self-doubt and just throw whatever I want on the wall and see what sticks. I don't want to be held back by my negative self-talk and anxiety of the novel and unknown. I promised myself I'd be more adventurous in 2025 and that includes small things like site updates and whatnot. Taking baby steps before the big leap of faith I call The Job Search.

That's all for today. Writing is a powerful thing, I feel better after typing all that out. If I wrote all of that down in a journal my hand would cramp up! Yes I know that means my pen grip is non-ergonomic but other types of grips just don't feel the same to me. I'm an old dog when it comes to holding my pencil! Good thing I have this digital journal and an ergonomic office/gamer chair.