July 7th, 2025

Weekly-ish check in~ I'm focusing on my blog again after comifuro has died down and I'm procrastinating on a (non-personal) writing project (>w<) I keep wanting to go back to writing poems rather than write corporate articles... So much for creative drive, mine is completely at the whims of whatever project I find the silliest and most personally gratifying

I'm been thinking about re-doing a lot of my site, make it more mobile friendly, but ehhhhh it takes a lot of time to re-do everything and brainstorm how to do my current layout on mobile. Heck, I can't even check my own website natively on my phone because my phone carrier blocks the domain for neocities for some reason

Back to comifuro... I'm planning on joining cf21 this Nov! I have some fandom merch that I can't wait to show you all (it's Stardew Valley!). For some reason I'm putting off drawing the chibis for the acrylic charms because... impostor syndrome, I guess? I don't feel good enough to be printing my artwork on acrylic yet. Or I feel like im inadequate in my techniques because it's just silly little chibis and nothing fully rendered (@_@). I'll get to it, eventually, because I'm procrastinating on writing more than I'm procrastinating on drawing. That's just how my brain works. If I don't want to do an important thing I do the next important or self-rewarding task. Since this blog is my fixation, I'm giving it a lot of attention these past few days!

Sometimes I exercise more if I've got work to do. Menial data entry does that to me; at least I feel better after cardio. I'll take more walks if I'm actively avoiding a task I know I should be doing- Speaking of which. There's a Twice Meal (the kpop group) from richeese and I haven't gotten the opportunity to try it yet. I was going to buy myself a twicemeal for a reward for finishing an article but I just can't operate under self-reward systems, y'know. I could just buy the thing I want with my money, nobody is going to stop me. Sigh. I'm always looking for ways to motivate myself externally, but even my best friend has given up on me. I'm too strongly internally motivated to my own detriment. I guess money is a motivator but ultimately I don't like to do things for profit either! It sucks! I want to be able to create freely without having to worry about money!

I've been feeling like my blog posts, especially when I'm in a rut, sound like a broken record. So to fix that I'll stop moping around and talk about the games and music I've been enjoying. Good news for JamieP because it's almost everything that I'm listening to currently. Her music is just so addictive and I love her LYRICISM. I'm highkey envious of her writing skills, I aspire to be half as good as her but in poetry form. I can't produce music (for now). As for games, I'm still on a game no-buy (which the steam summer sale is tempting me out of), but I'm playing Arcade Spirits! I'm on level... 3? 4? I'm slowly playing one "level" at a time because I've been struggling with my attention span again. Well, I struggle when I don't get immediate gratification. Which is weird to say about a video game, but since visual novels pay off longer than your arcade games I need to power through reading the game. Don't get me wrong I like the game! I just think the overly straightforward dialogue-to-personality system isn't for me. I like having nuance in my character and don't like having a 1:1 equivalent of "guts/heart/brain" points. Oh I know I'm on a no-buy, but that doesn't apply to charity bundles. There's an upcoming Games for Palestine charity bundle on itchio. Since I've donated to the 2021 and 2024 bundle I want to keep up my streak and donate what I can to the cause. You should too!